And I became a man
by BlueBerryBoo
Summary: I had become a father, but more so a man. Oneshot


Author's note: Okay so, I don't even understand where this came from. I've never been interested in this topic before, and I still don't think I am. I think this was a weird phase. Weird story. Just weird. I don't even know if I like it- as Raven once said though: statistically speaking, I think one person should! And it's one story that I actually followed through with so I'm putting it up! There's three different time periods. Alright here goes!

It took a girl – a woman I loved. It took a childish immature game.

But mostly, it only took a minute – a single moment, for me to become a man.

It was one of those rare nights when Starfire found herself overwhelmed by the thunderstorm occurring outside the tower; she still hadn't gotten accustomed to the banging and the flashing that came along with the storms, and something told me she never would.

These were my favourite nights, though; these rare nights. She'd slip into my room, when she thought I was asleep, and sleep in the crook of my underarm, against my chest. She'd clutch on to me slightly, sometimes, slightly more than just slightly. Then just as she came, she'd slip away in the morning, like a fox, with that flaming red hair of hers.

I'm an early riser, so I wait and pretend to be asleep until she gets up and leaves. I think though, at some point, she realized that I knew she made these refugee trips. Perhaps it was the fact that I often pulled her in closer when I felt her shaking, whether it was from fear or cold, I never knew, but I always knew when she needed to be held closer.

I think she knows that I know that she knows. But neither of us ever say. And it was good that way.

So one of those mornings – might I add, my favourite mornings – I watched her sleep. I have no words. She's brilliant.

And I want her awake. I want her with me.

"Starfire?"

She stirs, but returns to slumber. What was that called again? Sleeping beauty? Goddess, maybe?

_I miss you. Open your eyes._

I want to say.

And I chuckle at an idea.

"Starfire- Where are your clothes?"

That shoots her right up with a shriek, followed by her hiding under the covers. Half a moment later she angrily peeps out.

"I am fully clothed, thank you, and fully furious."

I die at my own humor and her satisfactory reaction. She glares at me, then smiles.

"Robin! I am with child!"

My eyes snap open. And real hard too.

Pregnant!

And by what means?

Then she laughs, just like I did, and I realize that she fooled me back. She had managed to get me out of bed and wake me up, and with a vengeance too.

But what she didn't know was that she woke up something inside of me, too. Something I didn't know I had in me.

"Not funny." I mumbled and tossed to face away from her. She continued on with that adorable giggle of hers out my room and said something about breakfast.

But she didn't know that at that moment I was more confused than any teenage boy on the planet.

The moment after Starfire said what she did – what felt like thousands of thoughts went through my head. I saw Star with a beautiful baby in her arms, and felt something strange. Felt like something changed inside me; this desire to have her child; this desire to have a child with red adorned around her head. The truth is, I always found babies to be sort of ugly; never really paid much attention to them, and could never understand why people would always squeal and get excited over them. Until he had a revelation – that one could be hers. Have her hair and her skin and, God, her laugh. Something I could hold that looked exactly like her, whenever she wasn't around; this desire to protect her and her child, to give up anything for them. And I was ready for that, I mean I felt ready for that anyway- to push anything aside for the one I loved. And it was that moment that I became a man.

And so when she laughed I was, I might've been, you could almost say, that I was somewhat –

Disappointed.

And what the heck. I'm seventeen.

And it got stranger from there.

Starfire and I were at the doctor's waiting room, when a child no older than two walks right beside my foot. He looks up at me with these massive green eyes. And that's really all he does. For a while. I take a glance at Starfire, who just gives an encouraging smile. Here goes nothing. I clear my throat and crouch down beside him, putting my weight on one knee. He still just stares, and it's ridiculous but makes me a bit nervous.

"Hey there." I attempt. He backs up a bit, chuckling a bit. Or choking. I'm not really sure.

I've never been good with this.

"What's your name?"

He blinks. And stares.

And it's completely useless.

But not too remote from cute.

I clear my throat again.

"you come here often?"

And I can hear Starfire laugh behind me.

Here I am conversing with a toddler. And I am genuinely fascinated by his nature. But then he trips over my foot, and I catch him, but he still cries. Loud. I don't know what to do. And I feel terrible.

I can't do anything right.

But Starfire comes to my rescue, reaches for the child and holds him in her arms, and like a sedated patient, he's instantaneously calmed and quite, possibly in some sort of coma.

Yea, bud. She has that effect on me too.

Later, when we leave the doctor's office, I can't understand why I keep thinking about this child. And the way Star looks when he's huddled against her chest.

_5 years later…_

I swing my right leg accurately to his jaw, but he's quick enough to grab it as I'm left wondering how I let that happen. I'm completely airborne now that I have my left foot swinging from below his jaw, and distracted with this unexpected turn of events he forgets about my right leg and – what?

My communicator beeps.

As I was saying, he releases my right leg just to hold my left. My weight shifts to my left leg, which is being held by him, and what ends up happening is that I'm standing on his hand, and I knock him out cold before –

It beeps again.

He lays unconscious at the moment, so I take this opportunity to answer the thing.

It's Raven.

I don't mean to be rude. But I do.

''Hey look, I'm kinda busy right now, I'm – ''

''A father.''

And with that my heart foolishly forgets to beat. And it's not followed by Starfire's laughter because it's not a joke this time. I've really screwed things this time.

And perhaps I should have asked, where she was, if I had missed it, or something, anything logical. But I didn't do any thinking of the sort, just ran.

So I ran through the winding city streets, and God knows how, found my motorcycle. Police might've stopped me, but I was zipping past anything in sight, so I didn't really know. It was dawn and I could see a bit of light blue tint dissolving in the sky. Only one thing trafficked in my mind the whole way.

I can't do anything right.

All I had to do was be there, and that I couldn't even do.

I threw down my motorcycle and brought down the door.

There she was; covered by a maroon, silk blanket with the sun's brilliant rays highlighting her red, and her daughter's red. Perfect.

I'm on my knees at the door, and slowly rise, my eyes locked on the sight in front of me. She has her body spread across the sofa, with her knees slightly bend, in a relaxed manner. She's holding the child arm's length apart and raising her, laughing with the giggling baby, as she rocks her gently in the air. She then notices me. I'm nervous and speechless and instantly forgot of the previous feeling of regret and anger towards myself, which I had felt just a half a moment before.

I made my way slowly and sat on the floor with my side leaning on the couch, beside Starfire. She had the child now sitting on her belly. She encouraged me with a smile, and I knew she had forgiven me. I slowly and hesitantly reached and stroked my fingers, lightly and hardly even touching, the hair on her tiny head. She had my eyes, and I couldn't understand why I particularly liked that- that there was a piece of me. Starfire held her and brought her towards me, encouraging me to hold her. No, it was too soon.

"I-I'm not really good with-"

"don't worry." She said and smiled.

I can't do anything right. I thought.

But I knew she'd come to my rescue if I needed it- so I tried.

She was so light, in weight and in skin and in hair and in eyes. I could see how people would do anything for such precious being. Why the strongest and fiercest of men would humble and be moved by such innocence.

And the clumsiest of them who couldn't do anything right, would strive to be the best fathers they could be.

And this was really the moment that I became a man.


End file.
